Being a Muslim in a non-Muslim area is one of the hardest parts. Almost everyday it feels like you have to lead a double life, trying hard to be the best Muslim you can be and to follow the Quran and Sunnah correctly and trying hard not to cause any conflicts with relatives or others that would have a problem with my being Muslim. I try hard. I do what I can. I know my parents are pleased with me as a person and as their daughter. There isn't much left of my extended family but I do treat them well, I show them respect even when they are not respecting me. Sometimes you just need someone to talk to, at least by having a blog I can talk to myself in a constructive fashion! haha
My Goals As I Enter My 3rd Year As A Muslim:
- Keep trying to learn Arabic letters and words. This one is tough since I don't use Arabic everyday and often forget things I have learned but I am taking steps towards incorporating Arabic into my life like installing the Arabic keyboards on my phone and Ipad so I can play around with the letters and learn to spell something other than my name haha. There are also tons of apps made for children but can help adults learn the letters just as well, plus they are cute and fun. If you're gonna play a game on your device might as well make it an educational one. Plus when I finally get to the point where I can read Arabic and understand what I am reading I want one of these pretty colorful Qurans. I cant help it, I'm a girl and I like pretty things.
- Keep learning as much as I can about Islam in general. I was lucky enough to be able to enroll in a history of Islam and the middle east class for my fall semester. I'm actually more excited about it than my childhood education courses, I hope the class has a good professor and is not disappointing. Also, I'm going to keep studying and working through the free courses Bilal Phillips offers online. They may be small steps but they are definitely steps in the right direction. Education is key in Islam, we should never stop learning. Even those who are lucky enough to have been born to Muslim families still have plenty to learn.
- I know I need to try harder to deal with the stressful people around me. I try to avoid most negative people but it can be hard to avoid the ones that are your own relatives and can show up at your house and cause even more drama. I have plenty of meltdowns, the best thing for me to do is just take some time to myself to cry it out and pray. We will have to deal with ignorant people throughout our entire lives, everyone does. Even the prophet had to deal with plenty of ignorance from others, it's best to use him as an example of how we should be on our best manners even when we are being treated badly and to put all of our faith in Allah and sincerely talk to him about what is bothering us in our prayers and ask Allah's to guide us in the matter.